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Chapter 9

Nick couldn’t describe the way he felt. There was no way to express the emotions tumbling through him. Hell, if it weren’t for Kevin holding him up, he would have collapsed. She wanted him to pick one of his friends, brothers, to DIE. He wouldn’t... couldn’t ever do something like that. He blinked. It was almost like a double edged sword. Either way he took it, he’d get cut. He had to take it by the handle, had to get control of the weapon to accomplish anything.

He watched Lalita. Madness danced in her cold eyes, he cringed. How on earth was he going to get out of this?

Brian’s eyes flitted between Nick and Lalita, AJ sagging in her grasp. Oh, God... he thought, How did it come to this? He had yet to grasp that his own life was now being pointedly threatened, he was too caught up in shocked disbelief.

Nick closed his eyes, then snapped them open when it felt like the room was spinning. His head wound was still effecting him. He felt slightly disoriented for a moment, briefly forgetting where he was until Kevin shook him slightly.

Nick looked up into a face of warring emotions. Kevin’s brow was furrowed in concern, his lips were parted in shock, and his green eyes sparked with muted anger. Nick straightened and took on more of his own weight, switching his blue gaze to Lalita.

When Nick spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm and steady, “Who do I choose to die? You, Lalita. I choose you.”

Lalita chortled, “Me? That was not one of your choices, Nick. You must learn to pay attention.”

Nick took a steadying breath, then stared at Lalita, tilting his head, “What does it feel like to be insane, Lalita?”

Lalita looked taken aback, her eyes widening in surprise and indignation, “I’m not insane!”

Nick never blinked, “How does it feel to be totally out of control of your own mind? How does it feel to lead a life of your mind’s own muddled illusions?”

Rage darkened the ice blue eyes, “Watch it, Carter. I am NOT insane! I’m not mad, I’m not!!”

Nick pulled from Kevin’s confused grip, swaying slightly before he gained his balance and stood tall. Nick’s slightly unfocussed aqua eyes seared into Lalita’s eyes, “How the hell else can you explain what you’re doin’?! Look around you, Lalita. There’s nothing sane about any of this!”

Emotions whirling unchecked across her face, Lalita did just that. She looked down at the semiconscious AJ in her arms, at the gun she pressed to his neck, she looked around at the destruction she had caused and fought to justify her actions. Her voice turned desperate when she looked back at Nick, “I’m getting my revenge! You killed Jake! ...I-... I loved him. You took him away. You must suffer as I have! You must!”

Nick looked nervous for a moment as he watched her reactions to his words, but forced himself to push on, “You caused Jake to die, Lalita. You kidnapped us, were going to kill us. If you hadn’t of done that, Jake would be alive right now. Your madness killed Jake, not me.”

“NO!” she screamed, the hand that held the gun to AJ’s neck trembling in rage and fear. She didn’t understand what was happening. Confusion raced through her warped mind. No one had questioned her sanity before. What she did was right, it always was and always will. It was everyone else that was wrong. She was normal. She wasn’t mad, she wasn’t. Lalita again looked around her, seeing fear and hate in the majority of faces, even in her three men behind her, she saw fear. Fear of her, of what she was doing. The lone thread of sanity that laid hidden in her mind pulled, her expression wavering. Oh, God... Am I insane?

Nick searched Lalita’s face, seeing the smallest trace of doubt and regret. He spoke steadily and prayed that the sword handle he was reaching for didn’t suddenly slip and give him its more deadly side, “Lalita, everything will be fine. All you have to do is let us go. You can get help, Lalita. Please, let us go.”

Lalita stared at Nick, a slight appearance of what Lalita would be if she were able to be in control of herself showing on her face. She looked scared and confused, like she was waking up from a nightmare she couldn’t remember. She unconsciously shifted her hold on AJ, causing the rebel’s shoulder to flare in pain. AJ gasped, eyes widening in awareness. His chest tightened, burning as coughs now erupted from his lips. He couldn’t breathe. He continued to cough, pulling in short gasps of air in an effort to satisfy his body’s cry for oxygen.

Lalita looked startled and tightened her grip further, her gun hand steadying and pressing harder against AJ, “Stop,” she ordered, not understanding, “Stop it!”

Two loud BOOMs resounded through the arena and caused all on the stage to stiffen, all eyes going to the doors as O’Rielly and several police officers ran into the room. The three men at Lalita’s back panicked, bringing their weapons to bare and firing at the cops.

O’Rielly and the cops returned fired, dropping the three men dead in a volley of bullets. The three men’s bullets were panicked and went wide of the officers and police chief, whom now set their sights on Lalita’s frozen form which still held the struggling AJ. O’Rielly’s eyes narrowed as he carefully aimed his gun at the vicinity of Lalita’s heart, if only AJ was not in the way...

Several things happened in the next few whirling seconds of time, things to surely effect everyone in that arena’s lives.

AJ’s mind clouded in unconsciousness as lack of sufficient oxygen took its toll, his now limp form falling from Lalita’s desperate grasp. His body crumpled at her feet and she blinked down at him in the realization that her protection was gone. She felt the cool steel of the gun in her hand at her right side and could see O’Rielly in her peripheral vision to her left, his gun leveled at her steadily. She knew that if she moved wrong, she was dead. Slowly, her deadened ice blue eyes lifted, a feral smile playing at the corners of her mouth as that last thread of sanity vanished.

Her now maniacal, almost translucent eyes, locked steadily with Nick’s now fear filled blue orbs. Nick knew in that instant what would happen and his breath stopped somewhere between his heart and throat, sheer terror seizing his form rigid.

At the same instant that Lalita’s eyes erupted into a strange appearance of sheer delight, Nick screamed out and lunged out of pure reflex, his mind having stopped its ability to comprehend at the knowledge of Lalita’s intentions.

“NO!”

His scream seemed to spur time to a faster pace as a flurry of intense action ensued his unsettling cry. Lalita’s arm snapped up as she pivoted slightly to her left. The gun jerked in her hand as the roaring shot left the chamber, her eyes narrowed in precision.

Nick’s right shoulder collided solidly with Brian’s chest, the air rushing out of Brian as he was slammed to the side, his body striking the hard metal stage with crushing force. As the impact sluiced through his body, Brian dimly heard the resounding report of a second shot coupled with an incensed scream of pure maddened rage. A rough, commanding voice then loudly voiced “Clear, we’re all clear. We need paramedics, NOW!” Brian winced, his eyes clenching from a variety of causes.

As quickly as it had begun, everything stopped. As the remnants of the gunshots and screams reverberated through the stadium’s rafters, total and utter silence encompassed the group of people on stage. As if time seemed to drag in exhaustion after the previous situation, realization and awareness worked their way onto every pale face.

Before Kevin and Howie, the crumpled form of Lalita laid still with no life left within her, a lone bullet having pierced her heart. Her ice blue eyes stared up at the ceiling in the same deadened gaze as before, only now the expression held true to her state.

The Backstreet Boys were finally free of her control, free of her madness... but at what cost?

Howie struggled to bring himself from the shock that held his mind, his eyes riveted on AJ’s sprawled form. His brow furrowed, his voice coming out strained, “AJ?”

No answer.

Howie’s breath now quickened in fear, his arms shaking as he began to pull himself across the stage to his best friend. He called again as he neared AJ, his voice now rough with pain, “AJ? ...C’mon, man. You gotta be okay.”

Howie reached out and gripped AJ’s uninjured shoulder, pulling the rebel over onto his back. Howie’s breath left him in relief at the sight of the steadily rising and falling chest. AJ was alive. Howie let his eyes close in pure weariness, his senses overtaxed already as his leg screamed in constant pain.

O’Rielly holstered his gun and pushed his comm. radio away from his mouth, satisfied that Lalita was dead. He let his gray eyes scan the scene before him and worry immediately overtook his features. He had failed. He was supposed to protect the Backstreet Boys and before him were five injured men. His eyes settled on two still forms. At least, he hoped they were only injured. A flash of panic sparking in his eyes, he spun around and quickly went to the exit, yelling briskly to the stunned officers at his side to follow him. He swore to himself. Where the hell were those damn paramedics?!

Kevin blinked, having watched Howie’s actions in a detached manner before his mind sluggishly brought itself to semi awareness. Kevin cradled his injured arm to his chest tightly as he fought to get his barings, the sound of a low groan of pain working its way to his mind.

Brian felt pain. It held his chest captive, stealing away his breath in its fierce grip. He shifted and became aware of two things. His left shoulder hurt like hell and something was on top of him. With supreme effort, Brian lifted his head slightly and cracked his eyes open. For a moment, all he could do was stare blankly. Then, the apparition before him became frighteningly clear and he gasped, his breath now lodged in his throat.

Brian let his head fall back and slid his eyes closed, praying that when he opened them again he wouldn’t see his best friend’s slack face before him. Releasing his caught breath, Brian opened his eyes.

“No.”

The word came from Brian’s lips in a choked whisper, his face now showing the anguish he felt. He began to shake his head as he stared at Nick’s limp form sprawled on top of him, panic now brightening his blue eyes as he stated louder and with more force, “No!”

Kevin started out of his subdued state and turned to the voice. He paled at the sight he saw before him. Kevin’s eyes were wide as he shook his head. Oh, God... God... ...there’s so much blood...

In shock, Kevin fell to his knees at Brian and Nick’s side. Brian stared straight through Kevin with his pain filled eyes, “Kevin... Kevin, help him...” Brian’s gaze veered to Nick, his voice a whisper, “God, please help him...”

Hesitantly, Kevin reached out with his good hand to Nick’s neck, his green eyes never leaving the large patch of blood that covered both Nick’s chest and Brian’s. Then he felt it, a faint fluttering beneath his fingers and he closed his eyes briefly with the knowledge.

Kevin looked at Brian, “He’s alive, Brian. Now, I’m gonna move him off of you, okay? Just don’t move.”

Kevin’s calm and controlled voice seemed to subdue Brian somewhat and he nodded, his eyes watching every move Kevin made. Carefully, Kevin rolled Nick toward himself and off of Brian, hearing the cry of pain the motion elicited from his cousin.

Now holding Nick to his chest, Kevin paused. He brought his injured arm around and hugged Nick to him, closing his eyes and resting his chin on the blond’s head. After a second, Kevin shook himself and opened his eyes, gently moving to lay Nick down, the youth having yet to stir as the sticky red liquid continued to spread across his chest.

Kevin leaned over Nick and searched for the cause, his heart skipping a beat when he found the bullet hole on Nick’s upper right chest, below the color bone. His green eyes flitting over Nick’s form, he suddenly noticed blood in a widening patch beneath Nick. Kevin’s eyes widened as he muttered, “It went through...”

Kevin’s eyes shot to Brian, “Brian? You okay?”

Frowning, Brian nodded and attempted to sit up, but white hot pain sliced through his shoulder and he fell back, gasping for breath as blackness played around the edges of his vision. In a hoarse whisper, Brian stated, “Then again, maybe not.”

Helplessness reflected in Kevin’s eyes as he gazed from Brian, to Nick, to Howie and AJ, and back. His voice changed from its calmness to angered and desperate, “Damn it! I need some help over here!! Where the hell IS ev’rybody?!”

Not expecting an answer, Kevin was surprised when he received one, “Medics are on their way in, they’re bein’ delayed a bit because of the crowd outside.” O’Rielly stood above Kevin, his distinguished face creased with concern, “How’re they doin’?”

Kevin looked up at him, then down at his blood stained hands, “Not good... I- I don’t know what to do.”

Looking away, O’Rielly pursed his lips, “Howie is doin’ all he can with AJ, I think they’ll both be all right. They weren’t that seriously injured...” O’Rielly looked back down and locked eyes with Kevin, “Get pressure on his wound, I’ll take care of Brian.”

Numbly, Kevin nodded and leaned over Nick, hesitantly laying his hands over the hole in Nick’s chest. He pressed down with both of his hands, a shock of pain flashing from his wrist. He ignored it and pressed harder. Kevin jumped when a shuddering gasp parted Nick’s lips and the blue eyes shot open, their color vibrant as they bored into Kevin’s face.

Nick clenched his teeth and desperately held Kevin’s gaze, his mind reeling from the intense pain radiating from his chest. Nick’s left hand lashed out to grip one of Kevin’s arms, his expression urgent, “K-Kev?”

Kevin’s eyes glistened down at him, “Yeah, Nick. Don’t talk, yer gonna be okay.”

Nick’s face twisted as a twinge of pain elicited an involuntary groan from his throat, his eyes squinted up at Kevin through a red haze as he gasped, his breathing becoming labored. The blue eyes roved around in search of something before once again landing on Kevin, “Bri- Brian? ...W-where’s Brian... He okay?”

Kevin shut his eyes briefly, then stared steadily down at Nick, “He’s fine. Brian’s fine. Okay? Now, you gotta settle down Nick. Please...”

Nick’s expression seemed to ease somewhat at Kevin’s words, then his eyes widened as his breathing became harder, gasping. His eyes held a panicking terror as they pulled at Kevin’s green ones of helplessness, “C-can’t... ...Kev, c-can’t... can’t breathe... Kev-”

Nick suddenly tried to roll onto his side as a cough tore through him, a garbled cry of pain soon following as the fire in his chest burned hotter at the abuse. Kevin’s eyes widened and he forced Nick to stay still, not allowing the blond to move from his back.

“Nick! Don’t move! ...Please... ... ... ...Nicky?”

Kevin felt his chest constrict as Nick’s now slack face stared up at him, eyes closed. What drew Kevin’s attention and caused the panic to intensify within him, was the thin line of red that now seeped from the corner of Nick’s pale lips. Nick’s chest barely moved with shallow gasps. Kevin had never felt so scared in his life. Oh, God... No... Nick, no...

“Nick!” cried Kevin, his emerald eyes now frantically roving over Nick’s slack face. Kevin’s hands and arms trembled as he forced his weight upon the bullet hole in Nick’s chest, the spiking pain shooting from his wrist at the abuse only spurring him to press harder, Nick’s deep red blood now seeping slowly through his clasped fingers. Kevin’s eyes squinted, his mind willing Nick to open his eyes again. His voice came out low and rough as he pleaded for Nick to respond, “Oh, God... C’mon, Nick. Don’t give up on us now... ...Jeez, oh God... ...Nick... Nicky, wake up... Please...”

O’Rielly had his hands full with Brian, the young man having been able to hear all that had just transpired with his best friend. O’Rielly forcibly held Brian down, his hands pressed hard against the bullet wound in Brian’s shoulder. Brian struggled against him and tried to reach Nick even as pain held him helpless. O’Rielly leaned over and practically shouted directly into his ear, “Brian! ...Brian, listen to me!”

Brian’s face remained turned away, the frantic blue eyes locked on Nick and Kevin a few feet away. O’Rielly released one of his hands and gripped Brian’s jaw, forcing the young man to look at him. O’Rielly stared into eyes full of fear and pain, “Brian, listen to me. Nick will be fine. The paramedics are on their way and will help him, okay? Now, if you want to help Nick, you gotta work with me here. You have to stay still and relax. Can you do that, Brian?”

Brian stared at O’Rielly, his eyes having a slight glaze to them. He tried to understand what O’Rielly had just told him, feeling as if his mind was in a cloud. He hurt. Oh God, how he hurt. Besides the fiery pain in his shoulder, his entire chest pulsed in agony. Though through all the pain, the thought of Nick filled his mind. His heart ached with a totally different kind of pain, a pain infinitely worse than what he physically felt. Oh, God... Why? Why did this have to happen? I can’t lose Nick... I can’t lose any of them...

O’Rielly shook Brian’s face roughly, having watched as the panicked blue eyes grew distant and slowly slid closed, the twisted features going slack, “Brian! ...Brian! Damn it!... ...Stay with me... C’mon, stay with me!”

Brian’s eyes wavered, opening slightly before completely closing. O’Rielly felt the body beneath him go limp. Brian’s head slipped from his grip, O’Rielly’s bloody fingerprints smeared across his jaw.

“Shit,” O’Rielly muttered, quickly checking for a pulse. He released a quick breath when he felt the beat, weak but steady. He looked up at the sound of running footsteps, his hands pressing harder upon Brian’s wound. It’s about God damned time!

Alec had finally broken through the arena doors, several groups of EMTs following him. He knew who his patients were going to be, and he moved that much quicker. For all the scenarios he had been mentally preparing himself for, nothing could have prepared him for the scene he saw before his hazel eyes.

“Dear God...” he breathed, hesitating only a second before running onto the stage.

His eyes assessing the situation, he headed straight to Kevin and Nick. The other EMTs quickly surrounded Brian, AJ, and Howie. Alec’s attention became solely Nick as he absorbed the extent of injury. His hazel eyes locked with Kevin’s tortured green as he kneeled down. Alec stared into the anguished features he saw on too many people’s faces when he arrived on a scene.

Alec gripped Kevin’s arm, “We got ‘im now, Kevin. We’ll take care of him. I promise.”

Kevin slowly nodded and allowed himself to be pushed to the side as Alec and several other EMTs closed Nick off from his view. As an EMT attended him, Kevin only vaguely acknowledged the man. His green eyes simply stared at his red hands, wincing as the EMT looked at his broken wrist and old bullet wound that had torn open. Time just seemed to disappear from Kevin’s mind. Everything... everything just stopped. Nothing would go again until he knew his family was all right.

Howie watched through dulled eyes as the EMTs tended to himself and AJ. He felt immense relief as he overheard one of the medics saying AJ would be fine after being administered oxygen and had his shoulder tended to. Howie had thought AJ had died when he had fallen from Lalita’s arms.

Pain flashed on his face as the medics helping him braced his leg to prevent undue movement. He was only half ways paying attention when he heard the medics discussing how they were transporting them to the hospital, but certain words suddenly caught his full attention. He stared at them with wide eyes, his awareness fully restored.

“Carter and Littrell are to be transported first, no questions asked. They both need immediate ER attention,” one EMT had said.

Howie felt panic rise within him again. Nick? Brian? What had happened to them? ...Oh, God... They’re worse than AJ? Howie searched his mind for some inkling as to what had happened to his friends, but the situation he tried to figure out was a complete blur of panic and motion. His brow furrowed, he had to sort it out. Nick had been talking to Lalita, and she had actually responded to him. Then O’Rielly and the cops burst in. Lalita’s men fired their guns. AJ fell. Howie remembered that clearly. He had been so sure that he had just watched his best friend die. Everything after that was a blur. Howie frowned, thinking so hard he felt a headache coming on. There was a sound. Howie’s eyes brightened as he latched onto the memory. A sound... a sound of... ...a gun! Howie’s eyes widened in terror. Oh, God! They were shot?! ... Oh, no.... Oh, jeez no...

Howie’s hand gripped one of the EMTs, “What’s wrong with Nick and Brian?”

The EMT glanced at the other medics before returning his eyes to Howie’s now panicked features, “They’re gonna be fine, let’s just worry about you and you’ll see them soon.”

Howie’s eyes narrowed, “What happened to Nick and Brian!!”

“Please,” placated the medic, “Calm down. We’ll inform you of your friends as soon as possible. Just calm down and let us help you.”

Howie roughly released his grip, falling back to the stage floor with a frustrated and frightened sigh. He bit his lip. Howie then closed his eyes as he agonized over his friends, wondering what was wrong with them that was so bad that the EMTs wouldn’t tell him. He brought his hands up to cover his face. To Howie, his whole world had just fallen out from under him.

~/~/~/~/~()~\~\~\~\~

Kevin sat slumped, his elbows resting on his lap as he held his hands in front of his bowed head. His left wrist was white with the cast that covered his arm from the knuckles to just before his elbow. Kevin didn’t see the cast as he stared at his hands, all he saw was red. His hands, covered with glossy red.

Nurses and doctors, candy stripers and interns; they all scurried past his still form. All Kevin had was his thoughts. He was so alone. Yes, there were other people in the waiting room, but Kevin didn’t pay them much attention. Just as they paid him little mind. A Backstreet Boy was in their midst and they didn’t even notice or care, their thoughts were on more important things.

Kevin’s one relief was that Howie would join him soon, perhaps AJ also. Their injuries were less severe, so they would be released as soon as possible, just as Kevin was. The doctors had re-stitched his bullet wound and then set and put a cast on his arm, they would have to eventually remove the cast early though to check the stitching, then put it back on again. A small square white bandage contrasted with his face as it covered the stitched cut on his left cheek bone, the blood from the cut still staining his shirt.

Howie was getting his leg set and put a cast on, the break had been clean with no complications. The break was half way between his ankle and knee, so he would get by with crutches. Kevin couldn’t wait until Howie joined him in the waiting room, he couldn’t stand sitting there alone.

AJ had woken up in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, he had immediately panicked and struggled against the EMTs. If it hadn’t of been for Howie riding with him, AJ would had to have been sedated to calm him down. AJ was being treated with plenty of oxygen and his split open shoulder was being stitched. The gash had stretched six inches at a diagonal on the back of AJ’s left shoulder.

Now as Kevin sat waiting, his thoughts still rested on Nick and Brian. He didn’t know how they were. What he managed to gather from the shouting medics was that Brian had many cracked and broken ribs, along with a bullet lodged in his left shoulder. Nick... the only thing he figured out about Nick was that they had wanted him at the hospital fast.

Kevin blinked, his eyes breaking from their stare as he slowly lowered his hands. God, how he wished none of this had happened. He used his good hand to rub his forehead, his bloodshot green eyes puffy from strain and tears. Kevin let his hand fall to his lap, his head leaning back against the wall as he stared blankly up at the sterile ceiling. God, please... PLEASE let them be okay. Please...

A sound broke through to Kevin, his eyes widening in disbelief as his head snapped around the waiting room, searching. It came again, sending a shiver down Kevin’s spine and causing his heart to lurch. Then he saw him. Kevin’s eyes squinted, Oh my God...

There, sitting in the lap of a man, was a little blond haired boy. His small arms were wrapped about the mans neck, the young boy’s face turned into the broad chest. The man stared, frozen, as a woman in a white coat slowly walked away. The man didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge the boy sobbing in his lap. He just stared at where the doctor had been, his expression blank.

Kevin watched as the little boy pulled away from who he assumed was his father, the small arms releasing their hold as his face looked up at his father. The man himself was a familiar sight, having stark black hair and strong features, but blue eyes, not green. It didn’t matter as Kevin sucked his breath in, his green eyes locking with young blue eyes seemingly identical to another pair he had once stared into some eight years ago.

The little boy stared at Kevin with a tear streaked face, blue eyes bright as blond hair fell over his forehead. To Kevin, he might as well have been looking at an eight year old Nick. True, Kevin only knew Nick since he was twelve(going on thirteen as Nick had put it then), but it didn’t make a difference to Kevin as his eyes welled up with tears.

Abruptly, Kevin stood and walked from the room, the little boy watching him leave as tears continued to slide down his face. Kevin turned the next corner and stopped. Turning to face the wall, Kevin braced his good arm stiffly before him on the wall, his head hanging low as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. His eyes clenched tight as tears found their way out to slide unhindered down his face, many soaking into the bandage on his cheek. A hoarse sob escaped him and he gasped in a breath, sniffing as he opened his eyes to gaze blankly at the floor as he continued to cry for his family.

~/~/~/~/~()~\~\~\~\~

Howie gamely made his way down the hall toward the waiting room where he knew Kevin to be. He struggled with the unfamiliar crutches, but managed to not bang his cast on too many obstacles. Damn, but it hurt when he did that. Howie knew he had to get to Kevin, though. Kevin was all alone, waiting.

Howie tore his eyes from the floor ahead of him to see where he was and froze, his brow furrowing in concern at what he saw. As fast as he could manage, Howie hobbled over the distraught figure. He tentatively placed a hand on the shaking shoulder when he had his balance, “Kev?”

A sharp inhale of breath sounded from Kevin as he abruptly straightened, removing his arm from the wall to wipe at his eyes. Howie shook his head, “Kev, I know you were crying. You don’t have to hide it, you need to cry.”

His back facing Howie, Kevin looked up at the ceiling and sighed shakily. He then turned to lean his back against the wall and stared at Howie in concern, “You okay?”

Howie shrugged, “Yeah, I’m fine physically...” Howie looked into Kevin’s eyes, “Have you heard about Nick and Brian? I mean...” Howie suddenly looked scared, “That’s not why you were cryin’, was it? They’re not...”

“No!” stated Kevin quickly, shaking his head, “I haven’t heard about them yet, I don’t know how they are.”

Howie’s face relaxed in relief, “Thank God... You all right, Kev?”

Kevin ran his hand through his hair, looking away, “I- I’m okay, I guess. I just think the waiting got to me.” Kevin shook his head slightly, “You won’t believe what’s in that waiting room, though. It ‘bout tore my heart out.”

Howie looked worried, “What?”

“You’ll see,” replied Kevin, his expression closed, “We haveta get back there so AJ’ll be able to find us if he gets released, too.”

Howie simply nodded and they made their way back to the waiting room, Howie following Kevin. Kevin hesitated only slightly as he entered the room, then quickly found a seat. Once Kevin was out of his line of sight, Howie was able to see the room. Howie’s eyes widened and he almost forgot to hold on to his crutches. He stared at the little blond boy in shock, slowly bringing himself out of it and falling into the seat beside Kevin.

Howie tore his eyes away from the boy and stared at Kevin, “My God, Kev. He looks just like...”

“Like Nick,” nodded Kevin, his voice soft. Kevin sighed, “I was thinkin’ about Nick when I heard him.” Kevin gestured to the boy and shook his head, his voice rough, “Coulda sworn it was Nick for a minute there, it really took me for a loop.”

The boys father was now crying with the boy, his strong arms hugging the boy to him. Kevin looked at Howie and whispered, “I think he just lost his mom.”

Sympathy immediately showed on Howie’s face, his eyes sad as he gazed at the boy and father, “Poor kid.”

Kevin was silent for a minute, then said in a low voice, “Yeah, let’s just pray we don’t get the same kind of news they got.”

“I need to sit down, got a chair fer me?” asked a muffled raspy voice.

Kevin and Howie looked up quickly to see a pale AJ standing before them, toting an oxygen tank and his left arm in a sling. Kevin hastily moved to the next chair over so AJ could sit between them, AJ watching with a small smile on his lips behind the oxygen mask. AJ sat down carefully, not leaning back.

Howie looked at him with worried eyes, “You doin’ okay, bro’?”

AJ nodded, situating the tank in front of him. He turned pained eyes to the two of them, “Any word?”

Kevin shook his head, “No, haven’t heard anything. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” AJ breathed, “I ain’t officially released yet, but I will be after a few hours on this thing.” AJ gestured to the tank of oxygen, “I ain’t gonna be sleepin’ on my back anytime soon either, or usin’ my left arm.”

Howie and Kevin mutely nodded, not knowing what to say. They were all trying to get away from what their minds refused to let go of: Nick and Brian. The fear of losing them ate at their hearts, anxiety turning their stomachs. They couldn’t lose them.

AJ looked around the waiting room and gasped when he saw the boy, seeing the same shocking resemblance as Kevin and Howie. AJ stared, shaking his head slightly as he rasped from behind the clear plastic mask, “Son of a- ...He looks just like little Nicky...”

Howie gripped AJ’s wrist, “We know, AJ. We saw it, too. Maybe it’s a good sign... that- that Nick and Brian will be okay.”

AJ just blinked repeatedly, soon hunching over and covering his eyes with his free hand. Both Howie and Kevin heard the sniffles and gasps, glancing at each other with mirroring fear and sadness reflecting in their eyes.

Kevin reached across awkwardly to AJ who sat at his left with his right arm, his hand gripping the uninjured shoulder in a supportive grip, “They’ll be fine, AJ. They just gotta be.”

~/~/~/~/~()~\~\~\~\~

It was hours before anyone approached them, and when they looked up into the doctor’s face, fear and apprehension choked them. It was a man with graying hair, tall and lean with soft brown eyes. He had looked about the waiting room before inquiring, “Anyone here for a Mr. Brian Littrell?”

Kevin had immediately answered, “Yes, we are.”

Nodding, the doctor approached them. Seeing their injuries, he sat on the coffee table to save them the effort of standing. They were quite a sight to the doctor, as they still had their all black concert clothes on, silver accents in designs on their chests. The doctor shook himself and faced them, “I’m Dr. Roberts. I just finished getting Mr. Littrell situated in ICU. I had to perform surgery to remove the bullet and he had some slight internal bleeding from the broken ribs.”

Dr. Roberts paused, looking at the faces that held onto every word he said. He sighed, then smiled, “He should be fine. I put him in ICU as a precaution after the surgery in case of any complications. The surgery was a complete success, but it’s better to be cautious. The extent of Mr. Littrell’s injuries were four broken ribs on his left side and two cracked on his right. The bullet in his shoulder wasn’t deep but was lodged in the muscle tissue. His other injury aside from the slight internal bleeding was a mild concussion.”

Each of the three men had paled at the list of injuries to their brother, Howie managing to find his voice first, “But... he’s okay? We can see him?”

“Yes, he should be fine.” Dr. Roberts smiled pleasantly, “You’ll be able to visit him, one at a time, in a few hours.”

Some of the heaviness lifted from their hearts at the good news, then Kevin hesitantly spoke, “What about Nick... his whole name is Nick Carter. He was brought in with Brian.”

Dr. Roberts looked puzzled, “I know nothing of a Nick Carter, but I’ve been busy with Mr. Littrell. A different doctor would have been assigned to Mr. Carter. You’ll have to wait for him, but I can check into it to see if I can find anything out for you.”

Kevin nodded, “Please do, we have to know.”

Dr. Roberts nodded and left the three men. Howie smiled at Kevin and AJ, “Brian’s okay... He’s okay!”

Kevin added his own smile, “Thank God... I was goin’ nuts waiting.”

AJ was silent, then breathed softly, “We don’t know about Nick... ...and you know that if-” AJ’s voice died off and he cleared his throat, his voice raspy but louder, “...if Nick doesn’t make it... ...” AJ looked into their eyes with resolute knowledge, “It would kill Brian.”

Kevin and Howie were shocked back to the reality they had to face. It was true, they didn’t know if they would be able to keep Brian if they lost Nick. Howie and Kevin looked at each other with their own knowledge that AJ had yet to know of. It would especially kill Brian if he remembered what Nick had done in that arena.

“Excuse me,” said a gentle and weary voice.

They looked up at a woman in green scrubs who was pulling elastic gloves from her hands, the gloves were colored red. The dark red color was also splattered on the front of her green shirt. Howie, Kevin, and AJ glanced at each other.

She continued, “Are you here for a Nickolas Carter?”

Wordlessly they nodded their heads, then Kevin managed to croak out, “How is he?”